Can Someone Please Make It Stop Snowing?

I’m hoarding garbage. I have no particular reason for doing this. It’s more a problem borne of necessity.

You see, it has snowed so much over the past few weeks that I cannot access the trash bin in my garage. To get there, I’d need to walk down our driveway, which sits behind a swinging wooden gate.

Here’s the gate:

A gate with two to three feet of snow piled in front of it.

Exhibit A.

I suppose I could walk over the gate, but then I’d be waist-deep in snow. My husband ventured back there a few days ago, and he told me that it was up to his knees or thighs or something like that. He is tall. I am short.

So here we are, in a situation where taking out the garbage has become a bit of an ordeal.

I read the other day that Boston’s mayor, Marty Walsh, was getting sick of all the snow they’re having out there. “Maybe up in Alaska or Buffalo, they have this amount of snow and they’re used to it,” he told news reporters.

Maybe. But it’s still annoying as hell, and it still creates all sorts of problems.

Like where to put the snow. See here.

I’ve been in Buffalo for six winters, and things like this have happened before.

But this winter seems different. We’ve had 38 consecutive days of snow on the ground because it’s been so cold that there hasn’t been a thaw.

Piles of gray snow flanking driveway.

Meh.

Ugly, muddy little snow hills that are five feet tall (me-sized!) flank our driveway, which disappears under a disgusting blanket of slush every time a plow chugs by.

I know they call plowing “snow removal,” but it seems like no one is really in the business of removing snow these days; none of it is actually being eliminated. It’s just being shifted/pushed/dumped somewhere else — like the corner of the parking lot, or our lawn, or the shoulder of the road.

“Why did we move here?” I asked my husband the other day.

I love Buffalo, and I’m usually quite fond of winter: No mosquitoes, no gross sticky air. And, being from California, I still find icicles weirdly exciting. I like to point at them when I see them in the street.

But I’ve had enough snow. The high temperature on Sunday is supposed to be zero. Someone, please make it stop snowing!

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